Reality Television Star
by Theoretical-Optimist
Summary: During the last months of her pregnancy, Hermione indulges in the guilty pleasure of trashy reality television. Written for Round 6 of The Houses Competition.


House: Gryffindor

Category: Short

Prompt: Cormac McLaggen

Word Count: 1146

Beta: The wonderful SecretFruits

* * *

"Hey Mione? Can you come in here and look at something?"

Looking up from the fascinating text she was reading, Hermione huffed. She shuffled her seven month pregnant body into the media room to find her husband seemingly frozen with the clicker pointed at the telly.

"For heaven's sake, Ronald! How many times do I have to explain this to you?"

"No, no, Mione! I turned the telly on all by myself this time. But can you just look at this?" She glanced up at the image that was paused on the screen. "Is that-"

"CORMAC McLAGGEN!" she yelped. "What is he doing on television? What program is this?"

Ron shrugged. "Dunno? I was just channel chasing like you showed me and I spotted him."

Hermione ripped the clicker out of Ron's hand and hit the play button.

The image flipped from Cormac to another fairly attractive 20 something man, and then another. An unseen voice announced, " _On this season of The Bachelorette, these 20 men will compete for the heart of the lovely Walda-"_

"Is it just me or does she look like she could be Filch's granddaughter?" asked Ron.

Hermione smacked him with a couch pillow. "Hush! I want to see!"

-One month later-

In the last stages of her pregnancy, watching _The Bachelorette_ became a guilty pleasure for Hermione. Every week, she was beyond entertained to see Cormac McLaggen, her former romantic pursuer, put the moves on a girl on national television. As the clock struck 8, she snuggled into the couch with a comfy blanket and popped on the telly.

" _This week on The Bachelorette, our remaining suitors plan one on one dates with Walda. First up, Cormac!" the narrator announced._

 _In a confessional, Cormac addressed the camera. "I wanted to take Walda somewhere that was really special to me. I want to share so many secret parts of my life with her. What better way than to plan a date revolving around my true passion- magic!"_

Hermione gasped and then grumbled to herself about the sheer amounts of paperwork that would be coming her way if he violated the International Statute of Secrecy in front of millions of viewers.

 _The camera faded to Cormac picking Walda up at the door of her perfectly decorated, show-supplied mansion. He gave her a charming smile and made a rose appear in his hand as if by magic. Cormac handed Walda the rose and the date began._

 _The two rode in a limousine to a small theater that Cormac (or rather the producers) had booked out for the evening._

" _Right this way." Cormac guided Walda to their seats at the front of the theater._

" _I love magic shows," Walda declared. "When I was a little girl, my parents hired a magician to perform at one of my birthday parties. Ever since then I've wanted to learn how to do some magic tricks."_

 _Cormac beamed. "I was hoping you'd say that. He gestured to a man wearing a black tuxedo, top hat, and cape lined with red satin. "I asked Lorenzo to put a short show for us before he teaches us how to do some real magic."_

Hermione snorted.

" _Wonderful!" Walda exclaimed as she sat on the edge of her seat._

 _Lorenzo the Magnificent (as the banner that appeared on screen noted) began his act. He dazzled Cormac and his paramour with sleight of hand card tricks. He made a large statue disappear behind a thick layer of smoke and mirrors. And finally, his pièce de résistance was making a marked dove vanish into his hat and reemerge from underneath Walda's chair._

 _Once his one-man show concluded, he invited Cormac and Walda on stage to learn a few simple tricks._

 _Walda wasn't the brightest student and struggled with the fundamentals of misdirection. Cormac was only so happy to wrap his arms around her from behind and guide her through the motions of the trick. He had excelled at all the tricks they were shown and performed them accurately on the first try._

" _You're so good at this," Walda complimented._

" _Yes," Lorenzo drawled, clearly displeased at the ease at which Cormac picked up these tricks. "Are you sure this is your first time doing magic tricks?"_

 _Cormac pulled a guilty smile. "Confession time. I may have studied magic a bit when I was in school."_

Hermione blew a raspberry. "A bit?"

 _Cormac grasped Walda's hands and pulled her close. "I just wanted to share my love of magic with you. I wanted to impress you."_

" _Oh Cormac," Walda sighed, "You did impress me. I had a wonderful evening. Maybe we can continue the magic tonight? At the mansion. In my room."_

Hermione gagged at the innuendo.

 _The camera faded out to Cormac in the confessional the next morning. Although it was evident that the make-up team had tried, several love bites were visible along his neck._

 _He addressed the camera. "Last night was magical, if you know what I mean." He winked. "I'm so glad that Walda shares my passion. I can really see myself falling for her. We have so much in common and the chemistry between us … well let's just say I think I've charmed her."_

"You better not have actually charmed her," Hermione grouched to herself.

 _The episode continued on with the remaining contestants wooing, wining, and dining the fair Walda. She went on an ice skating date, visited an art museum, and attempted to parasail._

 _As the hour of television came to an end it was time for the rose ceremony. Walda had given out three roses and was left with two men still standing: Cormac and another man named Jackson._

" _I thought long and hard about this decision. Who do I send home?" She turned toward Jackson. "The sweet man who wrote me poetry." She turned to face Cormac, "Or the man who played tricks on me?"_

The suspense was killing Hermione. Or that may have been her bladder. The baby was currently using her internal organs as squeeze toys.

" _I want to keep some magic in my life." Walda awkwardly made a rose appear out of thin air. "Cormac, will you accept this rose?"_

 _Cormac strutted down and plucked the rose from her hands. "Thank you Walda."_

 _The show concluded as Walda bid farewell to Jackson. The announcer requested that the viewing audience stay tuned for a sneak peek at next week's episode of The Bachelorette._

Hermione shut off the telly and waddled to the loo.

"I can't believe you watch that silly show," remarked Ron when she entered their bedroom.

Hermione smiled as she settled into bed. "I know it's mindless trash. But it's sort of sweet to watch Cormac fawn over a girl. I'm glad to see he's matured."

"So what happened this week?"

Hermione giggled, "He showed her how to do magic."

Ron groaned, "Oh bugger."


End file.
